Letting Fear Lose One Small Step At A Time

You probably wouldn’t believe me if I told you that right before I took this picture I bawled. But, before I started to let my tears fall I was walking in and out of this room, with the already made up decision I was just going to leave.

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Let me back up a couple of hours before. I had asked the youth pastor if he would allow me to capture photos of the youth worshiping and doing activities. He gladly said yes and we were set! I was excited, because I had been wanting to do this for a while. I love capturing raw moments in life – especially those moments of worshiping our Father.

I believe God has given me a passion for photography. I have always loved taking pictures. For a while it was just pictures of me and my friends. And then it evolved into taking pictures of high school sports and then I went to college for photography and purchased my first “professional” camera. Now, I want to start using it for His glory! The enemy knows that and he used anything he could to make me doubt my ability to use what God had given me. Putting thoughts in my head, telling me that you’re going to be a distraction… keeping the kids from worshiping… there is already someone taking pictures, yours will look nothing like hers.

As I’m getting ready to just walk out of the church, I run into my guy. He asked what I was doing and I told him I was leaving and that I would see him later. He disagreed and told me to get in there and do my thing. His didn’t feel sorry for me, which was what I wanted. He told me what I needed to hear. He was my saving grace in that situation. I’m not going to lie, I wasn’t too thrilled, because I wanted to leave. I was less than confident in what I was going to do, but I went in there. That’s when I started to let my tears fall. Thankfully the lights were down, so no one could see me. But I just called out to Jesus. Jesus. Jesus was all I could say.

I did not want to do it. The enemy had me where he wanted me, but I didn’t stay there. I put down my things and started taking pictures. Only got a few, but farther than what I would have been, had I left to go home and just be defeated.

After church, the youth pastor came up to me and said they needed someone to come every Wednesday night and take pictures of the youth group doing activities and worshiping and just being together. Of course I said yes!

God is faithful. That evening, even for a brief moment I knew God was there with me while, in my mind I thought I was defeated. I thought I had let the enemy win and let fear take over, but then I just called His name and He was there. All fear was gone. Just taking that one step of faith, He saw me through.

The enemy will do anything to keep you from doing the things God has called you to do. It’s our choice to stay paralyzed in fear or call on His name. Call His name and He will meet you where you are at.  ❤

“There’s no wall You won’t kick down, lie You won’t tear down coming after me” 

‘Reckless Love’ – Bethel


And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. – Romans 8:28

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